The Perfect Life
I became a stay at home mom after having my second child. I was fortunate enough to have this option and not having to juggle the demands of career and family was a relief. However, after being off from work for five years and focusing solely on taking care of the family I was out of balance.
Fear Consumed Me
I hated the daily routine. Getting up was dreadful, and my entire body ached. I kept slippers by my bed because of the pain that shot through my feet in the morning. What was going on? Why did my body hurt so much?
I also realized that fear was consuming me. Initially, I was afraid to stay in the house when my husband was away on business. That small quirk soon turned into a debilitating fear, I felt anxious anytime I was in the house alone.
What was going on? Fear suffocated me, and I was lost.
What happened to the risk taker?
What happened to the young woman who at the age of 20 defied her father’s wishes and set out to become a professional dancer? What happened to the person who at 27 packed all of her belongings in two suitcases and moved to Dallas to work with a modern dance company?
What happened to the newly married woman who moved back to NY, by herself, to fulfill her dream of dancing on Broadway? Where was the person who spontaneously enrolled in the interfaith program at The New Seminary Interfaith Ministerial program after glancing through a book I just “happened” to pick up in a bookstore.
I was a person who always followed Guidance no matter how difficult or challenging and I had stopped listening.
Ignoring the Call
I had dedicated all of my time to family and was ignoring myself and the call. I made myself busy, with busy work. I had long stopped taking the time to meditate and connect with my self. As result I was anxious ridden and filled with fear. I worried about everything nonstop!
Choosing, what I thought was the safe route, ended up being the dangerous one.
I was no longer following my heart. Several years before starting a family, I was an ordained interfaith minister, however I did not feel worthy of calling myself a minister. Although I longed to work in that area, Reverend Chantel did not seem to fit and I walked away from the call. I did not begin my ministerial work, instead, I continued with my dance career; receiving my MA and teaching full-time. I wanted to share my spiritual experiences with the world, but I was afraid and didn’t know how. I did not love and trust myself enough to follow the path.
Answering the Call
I am finally ready to answer the call. My children are older, and there is more acceptance of meditation and alternative therapies. I have been on this spiritual journey for the past twenty years, and so grateful that I have found myself back on the Connected path. I am and have been able to make my dreams a reality. Connecting directly to source gives me the opportunity to make sense of my experiences . This awareness allows me to move forward to live a purpose driven life that is fulfilling, balanced and miraculous! I love the path that I have traveled so far, with all of its twists, turns, and spirals! Along the journey, I have picked up many tools, and I love sharing this experience.